Tuesday, October 29, 2013

just another way of looking at it

my dear friends, how sometimes external does not represent the internal. these are some of the stories that i would like to share. just so we learn something from them. after all, one is not going to live forever to experience all the mistakes and need to learn from others.

1. i was not a boy-magnet growing up. so i didn't know that body language, signs and hints if a person has a crush on me. so one day, when a boy kinda like being so nice to me, i thought he was into me. and boy was i so wrong. haha. i actually thought so that i kind of like put him aside as i didn't want to give him any impression that the feelings is mutual. ok wait, it's getting better. it seems like, he was not into me all the time, and he looked at me more as a friend. what happened then? simple, our friendship is damaged. totally my loss and totally my fault. so when the same thing happened to me later on, where this time i was the one being misunderstood, i get it when that person suddenly choose to have some distance. and then, well he came back to his senses. unless if he did something very hurtful, then that's a different case. lesson i learnt from that, when a person is being nice to you, that seriously does not mean he's in love with you. it's call friendship. don't take it seriously when a boy/girl says you look great today or you are smart. it might just mean that they adore your personality at that time. and up until now, i still dont know this love language. this is the only subject that i fail so far. so if you really like me, just say it, and we'll continue the discussion from there. haha

2. when i was working part time at an insurance company, at first, i was really quiet as i didn't know the people very well and so after a couple of months, the real me, the whacky me started to show up and they were actually ok with it. at least, they can accept the real me. but one day, a colleague said something like this, "wow, you're getting mischievous". and i thought, hey, i wanna be someone who, what you see is what you get cause although i'm a good actress, i want people to accept me for who i am. well, i WAS young. and naive. the next job i got was during my internship at a power plant. BIG HELL. i'm a city girl. and at work, i thought people are matured enough and deal with things the adult way but boy i was wrong. again. remember i said i wanna be the kind of person where what you see is what you get? that was what i did. and people there were not as open and their work politics was beyond imagination. you can pretty much say that almost 99.99% of my colleagues alienated me and there were a lot of sarcasm. not the ones that i could tolerate. after the hellish 4 months, i sat down one day, thinking, where did i go wrong as other interns were not treated as bad as i was. and then after i got my own conclusion, i said, if i can survive over there, in god's will i can survive anywhere. and when i did my internship under degree program, thank god, that is what i was hoping for from the previous internship that i fail to get. what did i do at first? back to basic. be nice, be polite and don't be a nutcase on your first day. what i learnt from this experience? know the people well enough to see if they could accept you for who you are. if they are open-minded, then let them see who you really are. if they are not, and if they have nothing nice to say about you, then fuck it. you can't satisfy everyone. but at the same time, appreciate those who take your hand in their friendship. those who accept you in their circle of friends and trust. and i thank god so much for a wonderful experience and meeting nice people during my second internship :)

3. when people say it can't be done or you shouldn't do it, especially if that is your dream, just go ahead and do it. you will never know the truth until you get your ass out ther and TRY. although yoda is a bit more stern, "try not, do you must". there are a lot of examples related to this topic but i'll give this one first. save the rest for later use. when i first got involve in university style debate, it wasn't going smoothly and i was not enjoying a single moment of it. so i decided to quit. after that, i was blacklisted from representing my campus for debate competitions. well actually just one but that was a major tournament and the only one my campus enter until the next internal competition. some who were close to me said, "if they don't want you, then leave. don't waste your time". but i know deep down, i love debate. so i said good bye to ego and try to join again. they were not really inviting at first but since they seem like didn't have a choice, not enough person to form another team, i was chosen. finally. and guess what? i got to meet different people from different background. all are treated like brothers and sisters. and we only met for a few minutes but the bond, my god, it lasts forever. :) and to top it off, i happened to win best speaker representing my campus. lesson to be learnt, when you want something, just go ahead. put your egos far away and definitely just ignore what people say. dont give any rooms for negativity and protect your dreams. if i had follow my ego and what people said and not joining the tournament, knowing now that i could have lost great experience and wonderful people, it will be a huge loss. the first story shows how i lost a friend. this, i can loose more. 

wow this is tiresome. i thought i wanna write 5 stories but i'll have to settle with 3. perhaps next time. the second version. the stories told are not for publicity nor to show how much i need symphaty. hahaha. it's an education. learn from them i hope you would. wow, yoda much ;)

No comments:

Post a Comment